i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Randomize
