i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
