I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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