Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
