dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
