I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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