She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
