Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
you win again, gameday.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
