yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
