I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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