yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
