And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Randomize
