is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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