do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
why do cheetos always look like penises
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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