he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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