So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
The ass gains better be worth it
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
