He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
