I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
