I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
