Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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