It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
