My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
