Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize
