Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
she smelled like a LAN party
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize
