Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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