im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
