brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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