Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
my vag is so smooth its legendary
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I'm bleeding and have questions
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
