That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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