I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
