Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Blood and glitter go together right?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Randomize
