let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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