dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
