We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
