I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
