that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
