i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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