I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
