Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
