i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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