Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
