There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
my sisters under your porch take her home
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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