I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
wow bdsm is so cute
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