dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
