I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
