i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
