Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize