Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
