so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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