but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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