do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
