Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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