I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
