He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
