I wanna bring you to show and tell
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Randomize
