matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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