Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
